We set up table in the sunniest patch of curb
and to the people of Kroger, we were easy
charity in our little brown vests. We sang
We’ve got Thin Mints, they are divine.
Samoas, Tagalongs are favorites of mine.
Tasty, crunchy, oh so sweet,
Girl Scout cookies are such a treat!
Oh America, give us your money.
Pay for our suite at the Grand Ole Opry,
our room-serviced sundaes,
our elevator screams. Hotel manager,
thank us for our philanthropy. Tell us
we Scouts keep the world a good place.
Like this we earned
the Cookie CEO badge,
Adventure Camper badge;
charged entry to Jordan’s pool:
Business Owner badge;
dumped suds on mini vans: Car Care badge.
America, pay for us to sleep
in the glass shark tunnel at the aquarium
where the hammerheads press
their horrified mouths above us:
Animal Habitats badge.
What a white, beautiful world
full of good citizens and many thanks!
Somewhere else the boys tied knots
and wove baskets and made model airplanes
that couldn’t fly anywhere and had nothing
to do with the real rules of Suburbia:
Maddie said Ew! at the dark hair
from Jordan’s swimsuit line:
Good Grooming badge;
Peyton smashed the pasta bowl
so ice cream for dinner again:
Simple Meals badge; Use Resources Wisely badge;
I was twelve and my parents told me
not to talk to my sister anymore and
Maddie stood on a cafeteria table
shouting Lily’s sister’s on drugs!:
Responsible For What I Say And Do badge,
My Family Story badge—
As a Girl Scout I understand
American Success I pledge allegiance
to my country I serve America’s God
at all times I have the Buying Power badge
on my honor, I have tried